MIND RAMBLINGS OF A MALARIA STRICKEN WRITER..

Malaria downtime is a bomber! Asides the whole inconvenience and pain of falling ill, I have had to cope with not doing much and for me it's been a Sweet-Bitter therapy..

'Sweet' as I have had time to clear out my mind of junk and 'Bitter' as I had to open up some old wounds...
From betrayals to back stabbings, I have learnt to deal with hurtful experiences in a simple uncomplicated manner... 'File, rationalise, move on'
I have seen how those you love can really let you down yet show no remorse. On many occasions I have laid my life bare before people that were meant to be buddies but in the end I had to realign my position to gaurd my heart. The truth is no matter how much you love someone they may never love you back in return and the reason it hurts so much is because you love them so deeply. As a repercussion, I don't look to friendship or people for love..I just love freely and expect nothing in return even more so, these days I cope by keeping my relationships long distance....
So when thorn-carrying events occur, I simply address and file away in the safety of my mind attic, making a mental note of who to be weary of...For those that I hurt I take responsibility for my actions and apologise. As for those that hurt me, I have created a mind box called 'Experience', where I swiftly rationalise and file away each situation under 'Unfortunate', 'Lessons Learnt' or 'Never Again'. In a way it  this has helped deal with the pain and betrayal better ...everything gets dealt with swiftly and efficiently giving 'zero-tolerance' to unnecessary or prolonged pain..
It's a mind game but it has worked for me. Even now that I have enough time (thanks to malaria) to re-examine some past issues, I feel nothing, no hurt, no pain, nothing..I observe that I've even  become  an expert at loving from afar and it's brilliant because only very few people are close enough to deeply cause me pain..my heart is too dear to leave in the hands of swines so I protect it passionately but since I moved to Nigeria it's been a new ball game...I create a mind folder every other day to deal with the madness out here...In Naij people don't only hurt each other, people hate each other..I have witnessed people being completely wicked, rude and obnoxious to others for absolutely no just cause..you could be driving minding your own business and the next thing someone starts raining curses on you for a concocted reason like being too slow.. People just seem to be angry all the time.....

What is it with this world meen...Why can't we all just get along?

Talking about getting along..it appears that my blog has been rubbing some people up the wrong way...trust me, it was never my intention, I just wanted to have fun out here no intention to annoy anyone o!...the other day, I got an 'Anonymous Comment' which I did NOT publish asking if I was deported...LOL!..I would normally NOT dignify such comments with an answer but as malaria has messed with me ..I will indulge you..So, Mr or Miss Anonymous.."Be assured Sweetie, as much as I love Motherland, Nigeria and crave to be a part of it's growth and change, my blood is red coincidentally its the same colour as my passport...Shikena! Oh, by the way, it's OK to send me  top up messages abusing me if you like..I have created a new mind folder especially for you and your kind..It's called TRASH CAN...there's absolutely no feelings attached to that one..I just need to press the 'delete' key and you'll be carted off to the dust bin...

Still on the subject of 'Anonymous comments' another reader took offence to my love for 'Bella Adenuga and Jameel Disu saying it was a*** kissing'..I won't lie that one really got me confused....I'm not a GLO ambassador, GLO don't pay me and in fact GLO cannot afford me...( yeah right...LOL!) but I just really love them both just like I love David and Victoria Beckham...! I was so confused that I went back to read the blog to see what I said or did wrong and then simply deleted the comment and carried on with my business. All I just thought was "this blogging thing na wa oh.." but the next day, the same reader sent another comment apologising for her (yeah her, I just have a gut feeling its a lady) previous comment, admitting her comment was uncalled for..Miss Anonymous..if you are reading this..what can I say??? Apology accepted..but please let's just be friends..we can keep it  long distance as it is..that way no one gets hurt...I can really do without one more mind folder... LOL! But honestly, sending an apology was a noble gesture and I truly appreciate it!


OK..ramblings over and out..!! I won't bore you anymore with my issues but you know what? my mind attic is tidy again. All the junk have been carted away and this 'Johnnie Walker Girl' is once again ready to keep walking...If none of the above made sense, please forgive me and blame it on the mosquitos...tomorrow I promise to be normal again...:)

I'm still Seriously Doughnuts...down but NOT out..(*wink*, *wink*) oh by the way I'm sticking my tongue out at Malaria and going to church today..Gotta give thanks to the one that keeps my mind and body from tipping over..

Baba God your daughter salutes..Sir!

Have a great Sunday peeps..!

Lots of love,

B.

PS: Many thanks to: My husby dearest love for always loving and looking out for me and above all for always letting me be me, Bofinni for coming to see me yesterday. You really cheered me up, Nikey Watson and Bola thanks for your BB messages, Dupie Thompson thanks for the call..ChizyK, Mkeds, Dele..thanks for the get well messages..you guys rock! For everyone else I didn't mention..I'm sorry for my temporary loss of memory....:)

Special thanks to: All Seriously Doughnuts Readers...Thank you for always checking out Seriously Doughnuts..Writing is my way of cataloging my greatest passion - LIFE and I really love what I do here..I just really want to say a huge thank you for spurring me on...I really appreciate your readership..(Smiles)