MTN Lagos Fashion Week 2011 has ended and it was totally amazing but before I get into all the gist, I just need to let you all know the 'wahala' you guys on this blog have got me into oh - so at different points while I was photographing and doing my thing, several people came over and complained about all the negative comments that have been allowed on Seriously Doughnuts and I have to confess that it bothers me a little, that I directly or indirectly made people feel awful to have been at the end of the 'horrible' comment stick. It's one thing to say whatever you like about me after all I started the blog and I put myself out there (besides I can always delete the rubbish) but for people that innocently smiled for the camera, I think it is absolutely unfair to be abused by 'Anonymous readers'I'm naturally a lover, I think the best and look for positive sides to every situation but I'm starting to understand that I am blessed and not everyone has the capacity to love, some people are just full of so much bile and hate that they think everyone has a motive for liking someone..
I'm very safe in my skin and I have no problem at all liking or loving someone or something, it's my life and I choose to live it in COLOUR!. The long and short of it is that I admire people that put themselves out there, aim and achieve whatever they set their minds to. Nigeria is a tough terrain to live or work and those that excel have paid a price. That to me is worth celebrating and I choose to do that through Seriously Doughnuts...
I think it's ridiculous that I found myself apologising to people over Seriously Doughnut comments but I did with all sincerity. I have thought it through and decided that rather than put people down, I would rather build them up with words of encouragement.Therefore, henceforth, unkind negative comments will no longer be allowed on Seriously Doughnuts as so many have found such comments to be very hurtful and that we truly regret.
I appreciate you taking time to comment but if you have a problem and with anyone, please take it up directly with the person but Seriously Doughnuts will not be a springboard for perpetuating hate but if you have love in your heart and a great word of encouragement to share, you are more than welcome to send in constructive and objective comments.
Thank you very much for your readership, support, attention and understanding...Let there be love shared amongst us peeps....Have a great day ahead!
Lots of love,
Bola O. for Seriously Doughnuts
*eyesrolling* and *raisedeyebrow*
ReplyDeleteYou seem star struck. It also looks like you are sucking up to people. All you needed to say was that comments are comments and they aren't your views. Why pander to some people? Did they pay you? You wonder why Linda Ikeji and/or Ladun have serious traffic on their websites. It's because the comments are actually more interesting than the cover stories. I can guess the people who approached you. Trust me, these same people give money to some bloggers to write favourable stories about them and/or block bad stories about them. If you do what they have asked because they spoke with you and smiled at you, you sure are sucking up to them and traffic on your blog will dip.
lol zizi! what r uu gonna do now?
ReplyDelete@Zizi, This has nothing to do with being star struck, this is about treating people with respect and dignity. Nobody pays me to blog, I blog because I'm passionate about it and for that reason I stay true to who I am and write from the heart. You seem to assume it was a celebs that complained but funny enough it was just everyday people and one in particular said it could cost her a job with a prospective employer just doing a google search on her name. On the same account some people didn't want their photographs taken for fear on the 'ABUSE' to follow and that really broke my heart. I want people to be happy to be featured on this blog just for the sake of fun. Honestly, life is too short and I wouldn't want to treat anyone in a manner that I would not like to be treated. I do not need anything from anyone so I don't understand what the sucking up bit is about. I'm NOT Linda Ikeji and I would be a very awful copy of her. I love being me and I choose to stay true to myself. All I'm suggesting here is that we show a bit of kindness to one another with our words, some people are tough and can handle abuse, while others are just not cut out for public attacks just because they went for a night out.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK to not agree with my 'likes or loves' but when it gets personal and an individual's character or life is being attacked then it's just absolutely unfair. I just want Seriously Doughnuts to be a happy place that everyone would love to be featured on that's all above all for as long as I blog for the love of it, I ultimately have to stay true to who I am. I AM A LOVER BABY!
Choi! just noticed a grammatical bullet, pls forgive and forget LOL!
ReplyDeleteI meant, You seem to assume it was celebs....(not a celebs), na wa for english jor!
see double standard o !
ReplyDeletewhen u were subtley dissing kefee, konga etc you didnt know; now u r forming holier than thou.
anyway no wahala sha, na oja oyingbo.
one less blog to troll, more free time to improve my life.
cheers.
@Anon 10:53:If you read my note, you would see that I mentioned that I regretted to have been directly or indirectly responsible for any bad comments. That clearly includes myself and I'm just as guilty. I'm not claiming to be holy in anyway, I'm just looking to make amends going forward, to create a new improved SD. If it works out fine, if not that's fine too. I had a life before Seriously Doughnuts and if I choose to move on to other things as long as there is breathe in my body (BGG) I will still have a life. When I said Kefee's 'Jacket was Kokoroko' that was a play on words with her song but again like I said, I will refrain from such comments to avoid being misunderstood, we all live and learn and I'm learning too. Like you this is therapy to improve my life.
ReplyDeleteAnon October 31, 2011 10:53 AM; thank you!
ReplyDeleteTo me, so called Celebs are everyday people.....
Perhaps, you should take off the comments bit and let's just read and move on.
No disrespect to you my dear Bolanle, this casuistry smacks of real double standards.
hmmmm...right its a bit unfair how people leave nasty comment about people they dont know so i see your point.
ReplyDeleteAnd in life, one deals with criticism. it depends on what and how you'd like ur blog to become. if you post pictures of fashion faux pa; ok. please help me out with the spelling... LOL. please wouldn't u want someone to comment on their clothing, for example. I don't understand, please what is it that u want to do with the blog? thanks
ReplyDeletethanks for taking the time to answer 'our' comments.
ReplyDeletei'm anon 10:53 and was just fooling around as usual [i use blogs to de-stress/unwind as i hate tv].
dont mind me, its ur blog. listen to ur heart.
@Sisi Yemmie- I'm so glad someone get's me...hmmm
ReplyDelete@Anon 3:58 - Great point! If we had a fashion faux pas picture, it is certainly ok to say for example, "I don't like this, it could have been better worn like this" that's an opinion but to say "Miss x is stupid, I know her she dresses like a slot etc" now that would be a out of order.
As much as I appreciate comments, I think it would be nice if they are focused on the subject matter that's all. I hate to sound prescriptive so all I will say is pls let's just be gentle with people and words that's all
I actually come to your blog because I really like the way you take pictures.I don't know why people can't be allowed to speak their mind.If it doesn't hold true they shouldn't be so concerned about the nasty comments.They wanna see nasty comments? They should get on American Blogs and see how they tear real celebs and regular people apart.
ReplyDeleteIf these people can't stand the heat, they better stay out of the kitchen...or we are going to keep talking if we see their pictures...
*scurries off to Linda Ikeji and ladunliadi for more juicy comments*
First off, i am an avid reader of SD and i will not hesistate that it is in fact a new height of narcicissm when people come to you to complain about the mean comments.that's in essence sayig that these folks want to be complimented by force which is outright self-absorbed, that's number one. Number two, your blog does not have mean comments. if the likes of Bellanaija, etcs who started off with blogs, had people dictate the content, i dont think they would be where they are today.
ReplyDeleteLong story short, your blog your call. but i dont see how you can please everyone anyways. its just a new height of self glory whe people want to dictate what should be written about them. one last thing...have you noticed that all the blogs cover the same lagos events? yeah if you put the photos up and censor commets,trust me other blogs will post the same photos and the comments shall flow freely there so these people have a lot of policing to do o....lmao
Just a thought why don't you just screen comments and restrict those that don't seem appropriate for your blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd those comparisons with Linda Ikeji are totally uncalled for. Its Bola's blog she can do what she wants with it.
Bola has always screened comments. So when she came out with this i was like huh!
ReplyDeleteLinda Ikeji sets the bar when it comes to blogging so comparing her with the best is not a bad thing. After all, they are all bloggers!
lady u shd understand what a blog means, u cannot dictate what people do on ur blog and moreover there r thousands of blog how many do ppl go, so count urself lucky ppl come to ur blog and a drop of water but drops of water makes a ocean, n d past days u put up ur stand i watched ur live traffic and u know it has dropped....and let me tell u today if u r not aware...some of these celebs u r talking about have changed their ways, comportment, dressing from comments people posted about their pixs, i wish u luck...blogs bubble on adverts people places and adverts can be made when u have good traffic, yes u may have a life b d blog but if u have passion for something as u said go for it, not n half measure but full...g/luck
ReplyDeleteLOL! There is only 1 Zizi...hee!hee! You peeps meen (Anons et all) don't kill me jor!
ReplyDeleteI tire o , Ok let's just agree to disagree on this but as a compromise I will allow ALL comments except those that are just too harsh. I take on board your thoughts and will appoint someone else to moderate comments as if its left to me .....hmmmm! Anyway my peeps I appreciate each and everyone of you, Zizi, Sisi Yemmie, Ruby Woo and all the Anons - Thanks for taking time out to send your candid thoughts...
I honestly don’t see anything wrong with Bola’s statement. Why anyone
ReplyDeletewould feel the need to take time out of their lives to maliciously
attack another person who doesn’t even know you exist is beyond me.
Variety is the spice of life you don’t have to like everything or
everyone you see, must you tear them down?!?!? Treat people the way
you want to be treated how would you like it if people sat around and
pointed out all your short comings???
On the other hand I also believe that as a celebrity/public figure
you need to understand that not everyone is happy for you and not
everyone will like you. It’s the price you pay for stardom. The only people no one speaks Ill of are the dead. I’m a firm
believer in seeing the positive in every situation, instead of being
so hurt and upset by the comments made why not take them and improve
yourself. If they keep talking about your lace front, my dear step up
to Brazilian!!! When life give you lemons, honey make a margarita and
have a private party….sticks n stones.... You don't have control over other people or what they choose to say or think about you but you do have control over how you let their actions affect your life.
My two cents!!!
Bola its your blog and if you feel some comments are inappropriate, u can choose not to publish it. You're learning more about life in Lasgidi pele.Your blog makes a lot of sense.Keep it up gurl...
ReplyDeleteI agree with the censoring inappropriate comments part but please let those who want to be seen, BE SEEN. Why would they be dictating what people say about them. They are foolish jor, na me talk am. lol
ReplyDeleteAnd for those that don't want their pix taken for 'abuse', abeg they should carry their two left legs elsewhere... That's some weak ish and that's their wahala.
I can see why you would bring this up but I think you may have gotten a bit carried away by a few weaklings. In all fairness your blog isn't known to be a fiery blog like Linda ikeji or even BellaNaija (sometimes) so keep the love going and be yourself. Those that can't take the heat can remain behind cameras and continue w their timid lives...