Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Pic credit: An unknown Lagos Observer
Hmmmm! So this started off with an email from a Seriously Doughnuts reading couple in the diaspora requesting a list of swagger stuff to buy so that 'they can roll big in Nigeria'...without breaking the bank..! I laughed out loud..thinking is it really possible to roll big on a low budget???

I mean, we're talking about Lagos here, where people sell their souls just to look good. On this side of the equator people look good by all means possible for some it comes naturally for others the swagger is by force..whichever way sha, I can't lie Lagos should be indeed re-christened as The Federal Ministry of Swagger, where money buys power and power earns respect!

But as a keen people watcher, I have observed the futility of trying to'keep up with the Joneses' '' cos in Lagos, someone is always gonna look hotter, have a hotter car, live in a hotter house and oh yes! someone will always have more cash to flash than in response to our dear couple what can I say? Lagos is competition galore! But if competition is your thing, here is a quick guide to getting your Lagos Holiday Suitcase  "Swagger Ready" 

The Hermes Kelly  Birkin Bag  is much loved and much rocked in Lagos, a lady once boasted of having them in 5 colours but I took her words with a pinch of salt! There is always a waiting list for the real thing and a real Kelly/Birkin could set you back about £5000 per piece even if you can afford it why on earth would you spend £25,000 on acquiring 5 of them? Just don't understand it! When I grow up and get my first Kelly or Birkin Bag maybe I will...*wink! But I love it tooo
While out buying your Hermes bags, why not pack your suitcase full of Chanel, Gucci, YSL, Prada, Bottega Veneta, Celine bags as well after all you want to roll big..innit?

For blokes as well, if you really want to roll big in Lagos, you not only need to 'look the part',you also need to 'ride the part' from sharp suits to tight sunglasses, fabulous shoes, sport cars to jeeps..Lagos men that have really arrived smell like crisp banknotes. Here JULIUS AGHAUWA steps out in style representing the Lagos Bigz Boyz.

To be in the league of Lagos biggies,  invest in luscious real hair; Brazilian, Spanish hair, 
Peruvian hair  or Aunty Funmi Hair and whatever..just make sure your 
bangs are seriously banging..expect to spend anything 
from £300 -£2000 only

To really swag up your Lagos wardrobe, invest in super fabulous accessories to help jazz up your
look from simple to Lagos-fabulous! This is where you can save a few pennies get great accessories
and you may not need to spend too much on clothes..

All the Lagos biggies love to wear Hermes belts oh..LOL! It's like what they call 'Pure water'
almost every Naija bloke and chick has one..
I confess it's my only claim to Lagos cool as hubby bought mine some
years ago as my birthday pressie..! Common as it has become...I still love me a Hermes belt!

The coolest thing in Nigeria this minute is to have your clothes made by a celebrated
designer like Lanre Dasilva Ajayi (LDA), Ituen Basi, Tiffany Amber etc..
So if you really want to be Lagos fabulous, be handed with your cash to commission
a piece by one of Nigeria's top designers..I hear charges are from N100,000 upwards..

When it comes to stepping out in style, Lagos ladies do it big.. from Jimmy Choo's,
 Christian Louboutin's to Manolo's,  your shoes have to be on point..blinging, glittering or singing
your shoes must make a statement usually in Lagos, Shoes scream "CASH MONEY"...

Once you have your supercool ride, you might as well take it a step further and get a car number plate that really shows
you are out on the full 'shakara' level with a number plate as cool as this...

Your Swagger will be incomplete in Lagos without a pair of super hot
oversized designer sunglasses, remember it's sunny all year round here so it's as
much a necessity as it is a swag tool...

While Cartier, Chopard, Raymond Weil watches etc are still the dream of many, luckily for the ladies a more affordable
option is the craze of the moment, Folli Follie watches cost only between £250 and £400 but are accepted as Lagos cool
so if a diamond encrusted Chopard watch is out of your league at the moment a crystal blinging Folli Follie will certainly be more affordable

Unfortunately for the men, there is no such luck with cheap alternatives...Hublot watches remain the coolest street wear
for funky bigz boys and for a really cool Hublot Bang you'll need to break your piggie bank and that of your hubby's and count out £23,000 for starters

Once you load yourself with all your swag stuff walking the streets of Lagos unaccompanied
may not be a really good idea, so you might want to get yourself your own armed MOPOL.
(Mobile Police Officer) just like MIMIKO a real Lagos biggie

Whatever you do if you really want to be a Lagos biggie avoid shopping at
 TK Maxx (UK), TJ Maxx, Marshals(US) and the likes of it, God forbid a biggie be
found shopping at a discount joint o! LOL!

Find and join a Bible believing Church (like Paul Adefarasin's) and stay under the covering of the church because
 in NIgeria 'Ota po ju enemies lo o" . There is always another biggie wannabe that wants to take it
 all off you..Pray like no man's business so that once you get to "Biggie World"
the enemies don't take you out...

Lagos life na wa oh...!! If I were you I would drop the 'Biggie Chase'..! Just live your life!

As per NOT BREAKING THE BANK ??? Aint possible lovie..naaah not in Lagos!



  1. Seriously Doughnuts:

    You just have a way of putting words and pictures to describe Lagos so well! Clearly, Lagosians do not play! The last line sums it all up. Hence, the moral of the story I suppose is to "cut yout cloth according to your size," right?! LOL!

  2. The couple are not serious. SD, thanks for breaking it down. Couple, cut your coat according to your size and stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. The Joneses don't care about you, they are too busy stacking paper and investing in their real estate and other businesses. You, you are here wanting to find out how to ball on a budget.

  3. aunty Bola, that is not an hermes kelly in the picture, its a Birkin..... pls dont be caught dead calling this bag a kelly in public o!

  4. Rtlmao!!!...... U sure do have a way of expressing things. Ahhh!! U'v just summed up how my sister and I feel bout Lagos. We always joke around that it is no good trying to impress as there is always someone willing to throw money around like no man's business. No matter how rich you are, there is always someone richer than you.
    As 4 d couple I really do not see anything wrong in their trying to impress on a budget... No body really wants to feel left out, but d truth is dat u can not impress on a budget in Lagos. It just won't work.
    The best thing to do is to look fab in whatever you wear and have. Chikena!!

  5. Interesting write up - well done .

  6. Love this write up. If only people would learn

  7. Anon June 8, 2011 6:59 PM; read the Hermes bit again. You obviously didn't get the joke!

    Most of the Hermes bags i see are fake. There are very few people that carry the real thing, some are; Mrs HPA, Mrs NS, Mrs EA and Miss BO!!!!

    In China, they will make 100% original fake ones that except you have a discerning eye, most people are unable to tell the difference. Even the Hermes belts, a lot of them are fake.

    Fake Lagos and it's all to maintain a contrived status quo. Ask these people to sign cheques for 500k and some of them cannot. Oh well, Deola Bali (lady with the long mane) definitely can. She has pedigree from her Dad.

    I dislike common things no matter how expensive they are. It's best to be against the norm.

  8. Lmao! This is flipping hilarious.....I HAD A GOOD LAUGH!

  9. Hi thеrе! Ӏ simply ωish to оffer yоu a huge thumbs up foг thе eхcеllent info you haѵe right heгe on thiѕ ρoѕt.
    І will be сοmіng back
    to your site for morе soon.
    My page: Click Here


© Seriously Doughnuts. All rights reserved.