Saturday, February 19, 2011


MAMA PUT FOOD.. 'On dee faya'
One of my staff seemed unwell, I asked what the matter was and she said the had bought a snack from a high street restaurant and that she had since been stooling (in her words..yeah, yeah we ain’t as posh as you guys..LOL!) My gateman cut in, in his serious yoruba accent saying angrily and I quote..(Pls read in yoruba english...)"I said it, I said it..all dose restaurant that dress like Mr Biggs arand tan...they are bad! they are bad! I wee nefa buy food dere! nefa! Instead I wee go to 'Mama put' where I kan see de food on dee faya before I  kan eat dere..' I laughed so much and then took his advice. These days at lunch’s 'Mama Put' food all the way..So If you are relying on Nigeria to help bring the carbon footprint down..wake up and smell the ‘Mama Puts’...cos it ain’t gonna happen any time soon. Our beloved Mama Eba, Ghana High, Mama Modinat type restaurants rely on good old carbon via firewood to achieve that decadent authentic charcoal taste we all love besides its not like they have another option so as you can see from the picture. Firewood is big business here in Naij and so is my favourite 'Mama Put' joint...The famous Mama Eba of Moloney, runny stomach there just seriously delicious food on ‘deee faya’..LOL!

The next time you get cheesed off with fruit and veg shopping at Tesco,Waitrose, Morrisons, Asda, Marks and Spencers or Sainsburys. Tell them you are taking your business somewhere else and come to ‘Jesus is Lord’ Market in Lagos
They sell fresh fruits and veg and believe it or not regardless of NEPA they also sell frozen fish too in fact you can get everything you need but without the shopping’ll almost feel like you’re shopping in Selfridges or Harrods..! Yeah right!!

Saw this sign on a beach. ..A few words for the ‘English’ Naijas..Same plus a threat for ‘Yorubas’...discrimination even in our own state..or do yorubas break the rule more? 
Na wa oh.. LOL!  My yoruba peeps 20,000 is £80 (± $110)...lets just pretend to be english..yeah? We do our thing in the loo..innit?

If you are in Lagos, you MUST stop by at MegaPlaza,Victoria Island  to sample out Super Suya Spot, it’s in the food court on the ground floor. I guarantee they serve the BEST SUYA in Lagos by miles. Forget the Old Ikoyi Hotel Suya peeps they’ve relocated to another Ikoyi address but honestly SUPER SUYA is in a class of its own.Succulent, tasty and so moorish but unfortunately I can’t comment on their claims to make your ‘man-woman’ relationship better..but trust me, in Snoop Doggy Doggs words..”it’s the fizzle nizzle shizzle

Punch Newspaper Cartoonist, Benne Omeke takes the 'micky' out of our President in yesterday's papers. In his defence President Goodluck Jonathan said he was misunderstood when he referred to governors in ‘South-West’ states that are not controlled by the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) as ‘Rascals’. His gaffe got him in hot water with Governors and their supporters but Presido has inadvertently created a new street speak..on the street 'Bad' is governance 'Rascal' is Efficient. My favourite 'Rascal' ? Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola. Here's wishing our President lots of 'goodluck' with his future addresses..hopefully they'll be gaffe free..

When last did you see this tin ??? I recently went to see my cousin in hospital in Lagos and there it was..A real blast from the past...Back in the days it was energy in a can, we almost overdosed on it during inter-house sports...I can’t believe it’s still on sale... I wonder if it's legal anywhere outside Nigeria...

Naija thieves are bold oh!  A friend’s blackberry got stolen and by the next time the phone's BBM service was activated on his phone some odd looking guy had updated the profile with his picture on it. Here’s the 'jankorikos' you know him? is he your friend? LOL!
I have since renamed his old profile 'OLE'  (Theif)..
IF YOU KNOW HIM PLS NAME AND SHAME and then call the police..(like they care..LOL!)
But I guess it could be worse another friend's phone too was stolen and that thief decided to keep the phone and SIM card. Unfortunately my friend can't get the SIM replaced as he did not register the number with the service provider. The most annoying bit is that the theif keeps telling everyone that calls to speak with my friend that he is DEAD. 
You can imagine the number of people my friend has to convince that he isn't a ghost when they finally get hold of him...In Naija, Blackberry phones are like gold 'em or they'll get swiped....

Have a Seriously Fun Saturday Peeps...I’m still having fun in ‘Jesus is Lord’ know how we roll...

It's Bola, Seriously on the town...



  1. Very funny signposts. I can't believe how bold some thieves are sha.

    I came across your lovely & refreshing blog through Linda Ikeji's blog. Keep it up

  2. Classic! Don't you just love Lagos? In the midst of all its madness you can be sure there are so many things that'll put a smile on your face.

  3. Well, with food all you need in hand are your antibiotics. I had never eaten “asun” before and my mum’s PA bought it for me. I licked my fingers and disaster struck thereafter. I was puking all night and ended up on an IV on a hospital bed. It took me one week to fully recover. Last year, my brother- in-law was made a SAN and we went for his investiture party at the Oriental Hotel in Lekki. The food was fantastic and very tasty. Guess what? I ended up puking and visiting the toilet all night. I’ve deleted that hotel off my list of good places in Lagos. With food, it’s a generic issue and i think it’s more about the electricity problem, where today there is and tomorrow there’s no electricity. Frozen food thaws and then is put back in to refreeze. That’s one of the biggest causes of bacterial infections.
    I have 2 tins of Glucose-D in my kitchen cupboard. Lucozade and Ribena don’t do the trick as well as Glucose-D does. On my visits to Lagos, i always buy and when i have family coming over on vacation i always ask for it. I have a very sensitive tummy and it’s my best cure for dehydration when i have gastro. I even drank it on Sunday night mixed with Nutri-C Apple. Major! It’s so energising and makes me very alert!! I’ve seen it in plastic containers and as chewable tablets in the Far East. It’s very popular in Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia. It’s also sold in the UAE and India. Well, all supposed 3rd world countries even though I’ll now term Nigeria 5th world!!!

  4. loool...i really enjoyed this blog..keep it up gurl


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